They Got Bombed. Then They Bragged About It.

Leave it to the Iranian regime to pull off the most absurd propaganda twist since Baghdad Bob was declaring American tanks were “nowhere near the city”—as they rolled behind him on live TV. This week, Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei broke his shaky silence to declare “total victory” over Israel and the United States.

That would be slightly more impressive if his country wasn’t literally on fire. Their key nuclear facilities were obliterated by U.S. strikes. Three of them, to be exact. Their top military officials? Dead. Their power grid? Hanging on by duct tape and Allah’s will. And yet somehow, in the Ayatollah’s fever dream, this all adds up to a divine win.

Trump’s Reality Check: “You Got Beat to Hell”

President Trump didn’t waste time with diplomacy. At a press conference during the NATO summit in The Hague, he addressed Khamenei directly:

“You have to tell the truth. You got beat to hell.”

That’s about as subtle as a JDAM missile—and just as effective. Trump followed it up with a truth bomb of his own on Truth Social, torching the Iranian regime’s nonsense with the kind of precision the U.S. military just demonstrated in real life. He confirmed that he personally blocked Israel and the U.S. from taking out Khamenei during the strike—and that he was even considering sanction relief to give Iran a path out.  And how did the Ayatollah thank him? With threats, insults, and a vow to attack more U.S. military bases.  Which brings us to…

The Madman’s Math: Lose Everything, Declare Victory

Khamenei’s logic is something only a delusional tyrant or a CNN commentator could love. Iran launched missiles at Al Udeid Air Base in Qatar, which were intercepted. The one that got through? Deliberately allowed to land in an empty zone because it posed zero risk. Zero casualties. Zero impact.  That’s the “slap in the face” Khamenei bragged about in his pre-recorded rant.  Meanwhile, the Fordow nuclear facility is literally under reconstruction after being reduced to rubble by American firepower. Satellite imagery from Maxar shows heavy machinery working overtime just to clear the wreckage. And yet Iran’s top cleric is claiming spiritual victory like he’s back from the Battle of Karbala.  Madness, meet missile strike.

Trump: “You Get More With Honey—But Fine, Here’s Fire”

In a brutal post, Trump said he was actively working to remove sanctions to give Iran “a fast and complete recovery.” That effort ended the moment Khamenei went full death-to-America again.

“They are always so angry, hostile, and unhappy,” Trump said. “And look at what it has gotten them—a burned out, blown up country with no future.”

This wasn’t just venting. It was a strategic message: Get back in the world order—or get back in the blast zone.  But of course, the Ayatollah had his pride to protect.

Democrats, The CIA, and the Great “Actually” Campaign

Naturally, some Democrats couldn’t help themselves. After a classified briefing, Senator Chris Murphy did what he does best—cast doubt on American strength.

“To me, it still appears that we have only set back the Iranian nuclear program by a handful of months.”

So we didn’t obliterate the sites, we just crippled them? Gee, how tragic. The CIA confirmed the sites were “severely damaged” and would take years to rebuild. And while Beltway types nitpick the definition of “obliterated,” the Iranian regime is busy burying scientists.

Iran’s Funeral Tour: When Rage Becomes Religion

Thousands gathered in Tehran for the funerals of slain military commanders and nuclear scientists—victims of Israeli strikes, not American ones. But the chants were the same: “Death to Israel,” “Death to America.”

Iran’s Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi had the gall to say Trump needs to “retire his disrespectful tone” if he wants a deal. He then referred to Trump’s role as Israel’s “Daddy,” echoing NATO’s jab from earlier this week.

Sorry, but if you call a guy “Daddy,” maybe don’t also threaten him with missiles.

This Was Peace—Until Pride Killed It

This whole circus could’ve ended with a handshake. Sanctions lifted. Iran back in the global economy. A face-saving way out.  Instead, Khamenei played tough guy from behind a Twitter screen while his country burned. Trump walked away, and for good reason. You can’t reason with someone whose job title is “Supreme Leader” and whose favorite word is “martyrdom.”  You can offer honey—but when someone licks it off your boots and spits in your face, the next step is not more honey. It’s fire.